Those with kids can imagine how heart-wrenching it is to hold your flu-ridden, crying and vomiting child. Such was the scene last night. But to my surprise, I found myself tight in the stomach and exceedingly emotional, far beyond the expected. I was sitting with my back against Ellie’s bed board with her sitting upright between my legs. This upright position gave her relief from the vomiting.
Then it hit me. This was the position I held my dying sister in when she was in the death-rattle stage of cancer. Choosing to die at home, Lily’s lungs were filling with fluid that was basically drowning her, so my sis Ce-ce and I kept propping her up further and further. While Cec went to look for one more pillow, my arms could no longer hold Lily up. I slid in behind her propping up her cancer-ridden body. Lil was quivering with her last bit of strength attempting to inhale air. I’d love to say it’s funny how these thought come up when least expected, but it’s not. It’s brutal.
Lily, I miss you. If only you and Mom could have met Ellie…